Emotion: Grief

When you want to write the emotion grief, it's important to "show" the emotion your character is experiencing through their physical reactions and dialogue, rather than "tell" it. In this article we provide you with inspiration so you can avoid showing emotions and immerse your readers in your story.

Grief is a complex emotion that is typically associated with feelings of deep sadness and loss. It can be triggered by a variety of experiences, including the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or the loss of a job. Grief can manifest in different ways, such as feelings of numbness, disbelief, anger, guilt, and despair. It is a natural and necessary process that helps individuals come to terms with their loss and adjust to a new reality.

Different Types of Grief

Here are some different types of grief:

• Disbelief: feeling like what happened is not real or cannot be true.
• Numbness: feeling like everything is unreal or like you are disconnected from your emotions.
• Sadness: feeling a deep sorrow for what was lost.
• Anger: feeling frustrated, powerless, or even resentful about what happened or the circumstances surrounding the loss.
• Guilt: feeling responsible for what happened or regretful about things left unsaid or undone.
• Yearning: feeling a strong desire to bring back what was lost or to connect with the person or thing that is gone.

Situations Associated with Grief

Here are some situations where a character might experience the emotion of grief:

• The death of a loved one, such as a family member, friend, or pet
• The loss of a significant relationship, such as a romantic partner or close friend
• The end of a long-term job or career
• A traumatic event, such as a natural disaster or accident
• A major life change, such as a move to a new city or country
• The diagnosis of a serious illness or medical condition
• The realization of a missed opportunity or unfulfilled dream
• The end of a personal or professional project that was important to the character

Physical Reactions to Grief

Here are some physical reactions a character experiencing grief might have:

• Crying or tearfulness
• Slumped posture and decreased energy
• Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
• Loss of appetite or overeating
• Social isolation or withdrawal
• Pacing or restlessness
• Anger or irritability
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Numbness or feeling disconnected from reality
• Seeking comfort from others or objects associated with the deceased.

It's important to keep in mind that grief is a complex and individual experience, and not everyone will exhibit these exact symptoms. Additionally, some of these symptoms may also be indicative of other emotions or mental health issues, so it's always best to seek professional support if you or someone you know is struggling with grief.

Thoughts Associated with Grief

Here are some thoughts a character experiencing grief might have:

• Why did they have to leave me?
• I wish I had told them how much I loved them.
• I can't believe this is happening.
• I feel so alone without them.
• I wish I could have done something to prevent this.
• How will I go on without them?
• I keep replaying our last conversation in my head.
• It hurts so much, I don't know if I can bear it.
• I feel like a part of me is missing.

Atmosphere of Grief

Here are some ways that you might reflect the emotion of grief in the atmosphere of your scene:

• Use a somber and subdued color palette, such as grays, blues, and blacks.
• Create a dreary and melancholic atmosphere by describing rainy or overcast weather, or a dark and quiet room.
• Use sensory details to evoke feelings of emptiness and loss, such as the smell of fresh flowers at a funeral or the sound of a clock ticking in an empty house.
• Use metaphors and similes to describe the character's grief, such as "her heart felt like a heavy stone" or "his tears flowed like a river."
• Use symbolism to represent the character's loss, such as a wilted flower or an empty chair.

Verbs Associated with Grief

Here are some verbs commonly associated with the emotion of grief:

• Weep
• Sob
• Lament
• Mourn
• Grieve
• Wail
• Sigh
• Agonize
• Suffer
• Despair
• Yearn
• Long
• Miss
• Remember
• Regret
• Ache
• Hurt
• Break
• Crumble

Emotions Before Grief

Here are some emotions that may come before a character experiences grief:

• Shock
• Denial
• Anger
• Confusion
• Disbelief
• Numbness
• Sadness
• Guilt
• Regret
• Fear

Emotions After Grief

Here are some emotions that may come after a character experiences grief:

• Sadness
• Loneliness
• Anger
• Guilt
• Regret
• Denial
• Numbness
• Acceptance
• Relief
• Hopelessness
• Hopefulness
• Empathy
• Compassion
• Gratitude

Telling Grief Examples to Avoid

Here are some examples of telling the emotion grief in a sentence. You should avoid things like this:

• Sarah was feeling very sad and couldn't stop crying.
• John was grieving for his lost wife and felt like he could never move on.
• After the funeral, Mary was a mess and couldn't stop thinking about her deceased father.
• Tom was heartbroken and missed his ex-girlfriend terribly.
• Emily's eyes were red and puffy from all the tears she had shed over the loss of her best friend.
• James was inconsolable after the death of his beloved dog.

Practical Examples of Showing Grief

Here are some examples of showing grief in a sentence:

• She clutched the crumpled letter to her chest and cried until her eyes were red and swollen.
• Every morning, she visited his grave, leaving fresh flowers and talking to him as if he could hear her.
• The sound of his voice echoed in her mind, taunting her with memories of what once was.
• She avoided his favorite restaurant, unable to bear the thought of going there without him.

Exercises for Showing Grief

Here are some writing exercises to practice showing grief:

• Write a letter from the character to the person they have lost, expressing all the emotions they are feeling and what they wish they could have said or done differently.
• Write a scene where the character goes through the belongings of their loved one, and describe their reactions to each item.
• Write a scene where the character visits the grave or memorial of their loved one, and describe their thoughts and feelings during this visit.
• Write a scene where the character hears a song, smells a scent, or sees an object that reminds them of their loved one, and describe their reaction.
• Write a scene where the character talks to someone about their loss, and describe their emotions during this conversation.
• Write a scene where the character tries to distract themselves from their grief, but eventually breaks down and lets their emotions out.
• Write a scene where the character has a dream or a vision of their loved one, and describe their emotions during and after this experience.

Want more help with showing emotion instead of telling? You find more help in our full emotions thesaurus.